I recently did something I never thought I would. I got a tattoo!
Although I have wanted this for a while, I never felt brave enough to actually go through with it. I think I went through the same thought processes a lot of people go through:
Will I still like it in years to come?
Will it be too painful?
Will it come out how I want it to?
As well as all the other worries which accompany particularly anxious people such as myself. I know I shouldn’t, but I worry about what people will think of it. I thought that if my mother did not like it then I would feel shitty about having done it.
Despite these worries, I recently decided to commit to the idea so I could have this done for my birthday (My birthday is tomorrow, 25th). On my previous birthday, I spoke out about my social anxiety and it was one of the toughest things to do. But wow, I felt so good, and the response I got was remarkable! So this year, I decided to do something else as equally as terrifying and brave.
I spent a large amount of time looking at designs of compasses and I ended up designing my own one, with inspiration from others I had seen. Of course, the very talented tattoo artist drew it up better and more symmetrically for me!
I was so nervous the whole day leading up to when I had the tattoo. Mostly, I didn’t know what pain to expect during the process and the healing pains in the days after.
I arrivied at the place. It was actually a tattoo convention at my town hall so there were basically stalls where tattoo artists from local places came, and people would get tattoos done just behind their stalls. This made me even more nervous because it meant that people who were dropping by were watching me getting tattooed. The music playing in there was loud, so I had to shout to communicate to the artist. Plus it was a hot stuffy day which worried me because I am prone to passing out if I am too hot. The atmosphere just felt bizarre.
However, I soon felt a lot calmer as the tattoo artist was extremely welcoming and friendly. He made sure I was comfortable and that I could handle the pain, always checking to see I was feeling ok. Also, watching others having tattoos with me made me feel like I wasn’t alone and we were in this together! (Some individuals turned up to browse the possible designs and then decided on a tattoo working minutes and proceeded to get it done, which made me feel less reckless for getting mine!) But honestly, as soon as I experienced what being tattooed felt like, I felt this massive weight lift off me. It was only mild pain, best described as having a sewing needle scratch lightly over my skin. Granted, I wouldn’t choose to indulge in that sensation often, but it was no where near as bad as I expected.
Overall, I am so so happy with the result! It came out exactly as I wanted, the pain was not too bad, and hopefully I will still like it for my whole life!
I got back home and gave my mother a huge surprise as she never expected me to ever get tattooed! I have also got great response after posting the photo on social media. So all is well.